Morning Shake

Strawberries
Blueberries
Low fat Organic Milk
Greek Yogurt

Yummy way to start off the day. Cheers! :)

1st Check In - DANG

Due to a lack of sleep, today I started off my day grumpy. (Thank you 3.8 earthquake!) As I came in to  train with Mr. ForgedFit  himself,  I was placed on check due to my 9 minute tardiness and because I forgot my weight loss journal...blah! Thank good for my very adorable workout buddy Pepper. She put a smile on my face and eased my nervous. Why? This was my first weigh in came. As I stepped onto the scale, I stated I know I lost at least 1lbs. All I hoped for is to shed 1 lbs. Did not have high expectations, all I wanted to see is some type of weight movement.

Due to fear of disappointment, I did not want to look at the scale. In a monotone voice, Dagan said ok your done. With that tone,  it usually means that I did not do so hot. He should me last week's weight (242.5) and then he flipped to the next page and there it was. My weight. It was written (238.5).  I LOST 4 POUNDS!!! I could not believe it. I actually dropped some weight. Dagan got goose bumps and I was still in shock. Who would of think that excersise and diet would actually make you lose weight? ;)

My goal is to lose 8lbs by August 8th and I am already halfway there. In my time of victory I had to remind myself that yes it is good to celebrate, HOWEVER, I need to remember that this is just the beginning and I just have to keep on going. Even though I am doing well, I need to be careful not to revert back to my old ways. Today I was victorious in my first battle of this journey.

Like in every victory, you need to celebrate. Dagan, Pepper and I celebrated. How? Dagan kicked my butt with a medicine ball and Pepper was resting on me during wall squats! Thanks Dagan! If you are this happy now, I am scared to see you when we actually reach my goal...ouch. Love you bro! 

Emotional Eating and Me

How many of us eat when they are stressed? I DO!

How many of us eat when they are sad? I DO! 

How many of us eat when they are angry? I DO! 

Wow I eat for almost every emotion. I never realized how much I each when I am feeling stressed. 

According to the Mayo Clinic http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-loss/MH00025/ , both major life events and the hassles of daily life can trigger negative emotions that lead to emotional eating and disrupt your weight-loss efforts. These triggers may include: Unemployment, Financial pressure,
Health problems, Relationship conflicts, Work stress, Bad weather and Fatigue.

Today, I went through a very emotional day at work. When everything came to an end I realized that I ate a small bag of Doritos. Yes I ate chips and do not even know exactly when I ate them!!!  What was even worse, after I realized that all I thought of is getting fast food to surpress my emotions. Driving home I was like...where is there a McD's or Jack in the Box etc. I just wanted to eat that burger. 

A little voice inside guided me straight home, to the refrigerator and pull out chicken, veggies and a slice of low fat cheese. In a matter of seconds...BOOM...dinner. That little voice some how spoke up and defended herself. It was very tough to be louder than the temptation; that same temptation that always gets its way, but it fought to be heard..and well it was loud and clear! 

A wise man once said, if you start the day off right, no matter how bad it went, you can always end it right. For me, it is about taming the stress in other methods. I ate a healthy breakfast, lunch and now dinner. Yes I tripped over the hurdle of the Doritos, but I got up and continued on my way.

I realized that Emotional Eating is a huge part of my weight loss. Why? Emotional eating keeps me heavy and does not allow me to reach my weight loss goals. Yes I am excited in saying this because I have defined and acknowledge a very sore spot for me. With recognizing this fault, I can actively combat the urges and start seeing the signs of emotional eating before I do it.

This horrible day ended in much learning of myself.

Being Healthy at the Happiest Place on Earth

Who does not love Disneyland? It is your day to step out of reality and enjoy a day of happiness with no cares in the world. Rides, parades, fireworks, mouse ears and fills your day. We do not realize it, but food is apart of the Disney experience. For me, Disneyland would not be complete without ice cream from the Disney Parlor and a frozen chocolate cover banana. Yum that sounds so good!

Disneyland and food equals a worried Jackie.  I asked Dagan, @forgedfitnow Forged Fit, what should I do and how should I plan for this day because I was NERVOUS. Not only was it Disneyland, but I was also going to be with my family. His advice: first and foremost eat a healthy breakfast. Second instead of eating at the park, go to Downtown Disney. There are more food choices and you will be able to eat at your own pace. Third, let your family know what you are trying to accomplish. Lastly, don't be nervous! Ask them for their support. With slight fear, I agreed and said ok!

I ate a healthy breakfast of egg whites, fruit and 1 piece of toast. I was ready for the day. I made my first decision and made sure I would stick to being healthy. At lunch time, I freaked. The plan was to go to Downtown Disney to eat, however the kids decided to go have pizza. WHAT PIZZA!!! I can't do that. Alarms went off in my head and I am like OMG! I walked in and my eyes saw a salad bar right next to the pizza. My nerves calmed as I heard the angels from the heavens singing praises. I had my salad with chopped chicken breast and water. Woo Hoo, what an accomplishment.

The day was amazing. I was able to go with my 8 year old nephew, Alonso on Big Mountain Railroad. It was his first time on a roller coaster. The day ended with a spectacular firework show.

Who knew that I was still able to live the Disney fantasy with my new reality. What a great day filled with many memories. With the new memories being made, an old tradition ended. I left Disneyland filled with happiness in my heart and no ice cream or frozen chocolate banana in my stomach.

"I tell myself that I am not afraid" - Piglet

I never thought I would eat this

Oatmeal was never in my food vocabulary. I guess the saying is true: never say never.

...And The Reinvention Begins

In this day and age, everyone is focused on health and fitness. As a recreation professional, fitness and health should be my priority, however for several years of my life that was not the case.
Weight loss has been the toughest war that I have ever fought in. For many years, I have been loosing the war. I continuously decided to retreat and hide due to fear and insecurity.  Deep down I felt that I should surrender because I would never achieve it, that I would never become healthy and thin and it would all be just a dream.

Wars are meant to be fought, dreams are meant to become true.
Today I pick up myself, dusty and all, and start The Reinvention of Jackie.

Honestly, there is fear. I know that this is not going to be easy. I have tried and failed, but as in any war it is not about how many battles you lose, but winning overall. I am determined to hide no more and keep on fighting. I am in a routine that I am use too, and not big on change. My schedule is amazingly busy, and it is my largest crutch. But as I have been told, a crutch is an excuse and the excuses continues to keep me fat.

Do not get me wrong, I love me! I love who I am, but I would be lying if I told you that I love the package I am wrapped in. I don't! I feel that the wrapping does not represent me well. There is a fashionista, designer, recreation leader, and a hottie hidden underneath of all this skin and weight waiting to come out. The beauty from inside should and will be presented out. 

With exercise, the right foods,  and change of environment, my lifestyle is about to get interesting. :)

Here I am Ladies and Gentleman all 242lbs of me. I ultimately want to reach about 165lbs, but right now my goal is to reach 230lbs in one month. 
As hard as this is going to be, I am going to take a deep breathe and step out of my comfort zone.  Wish me luck! ..and The Reinvention Begins!